So after the pep talk with my dad, I decided to show up the next morning, as well as the morning after that. I didn't leave for the next eight years. It wasn't an easy road, but it was so unbelievably worth it!
After the student wanted to kick my ass, she became my next project. She was never aware of that, but I was fancinated with the wall she had built so high around herself, her grit, and her actions. She was tough, I mean really tough, even all of my wannabe gangsters didn't want to mess with her. For some odd reason, I was never scared. I don't know if it was because I saw the hurt in her eyes, if I was just young and stupid, or if I knew that she needed me? Although we came from polar opposite pasts, I knew we crossed paths for a reason bigger than either one of us realized at the moment. How could I possibly help this damaged little girl?
I knew that I had to prove myself to her. She would never open up to me if she didn't trust me. I wracked my brain on ways to build trust. I finally decided to journal with her back and forth. Journaling for her became a place of release, however for me it was much different. I wasn't aware that people could actually live a life like hers and survive. Fair warning, the next paragraph that you are about to read is bone chilling.
Both of her parents were incarcerated for using, selling, and manufacturing meth. She remembered small shacks all around her house, even one outside of her bedroom that they used to produce their poison. This isn't the bad part. When she was around the age of 9 or 10, her parents allowed men to use her body for their drugs. She remembered nights, where she was awoken by random drug heads touching her and eventually raping her. She didn't know how many there were, unbelievably some were from her own family. She was in and out of foster care for years, but usually ended up running away and sleeping in parks or wherever people would take her in. She had more grit and courage than I could ever imagine having. I couldn't even fathom waking up for school each day and facing the world, yet she did, with extreme personal courage. She woke up every day and put on her mask so she could hide from the pain and hurt that she felt. She proved to all of the teachers that said that she couldn't do it, that she could, and do it extremely well. She ended up graduating early. Once she set her mind to something, she wouldn't stop until she reached the end goal.
I like to think that I made her life a little bit better, but in all reality, she completely CHANGED mine. The stories that she told me, broke my heart, but that wasn't my role for her. She needed me to teach her a different way to live and I needed her to teach me about battles that my students face every single day. She made me a better teacher and person, and because of her, I NEVER assumed anything about any student that walked into my classroom.
xoxo,
LMR
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